Wandering

11 Nov

I’m a roamer in my travels but in my everyday life I feel like I’m a wanderer. Wandering aimlessly. I feel like I am waiting for the right opportunity to come along instead of choosing to make a change. I’m so good at traveling, planning and researching but so bad at those day to day decisions like what to make for dinner. Or those career decisions, like what do I want to do with the rest of my life? Instead of choosing, I fail to choose. I wait for there to be choices but when there isn’t, I sit and wait. And, I sit some more. Pretty soon, years have gone by and I still don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m working towards. I’m just waiting and playing it safe.

Waiting. I feel like too much of our lives are spent waiting. Waiting for the right choice. Waiting for the right time. There’s too much waiting and not enough living going on. We’re so fixated on what we’re waiting for that we’re not living in the moment. We’re not living our lives in the now. We’re waiting for that next great thing and all those other things are passing us by. I’ve read so many books on living in the moment and making decisions, yet I still don’t feel like I’ve come close to where I want to be.

One of my favorite mottoes is “Carpe Diem”, yet I find it so hard to do just that. I have much work to do and hopefully a lot of days left to live what I’ve learned.

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